In Memory of Bill Trapold
Dedicated to his loving family
This week has been a whirlwind; stressful, exciting, and humbling. I’m preparing for my first trip out of the country and trying not to over pack but have everything I “think” I need. Making sure I have important papers in order, emergency information to those that need it, and my most precious Dillon cared for while I’m away.
Amid the trip prep frenzy, work has been crazy busy (unusual for July!)…with new client proposals, a new registration to learn to program, making sure all the loose ends are tied up! If that wasn’t enough, we seem to learn our strengths and weaknesses in the middle of chaos. A dear friend of the family went to be with Jesus this past Sunday. He lived a full and happy life. It was difficult for me to fathom what his family has went through the past 6+ months as he battled Cancer; finding out a few short weeks ago that Leukemia was added to the list he was battling. I was humbled to visit him in his last few hours amongst his family and seeing the sadness and grief they were already starting to feel. It is heartbreaking to know what they’ve already endured through his illness and to know only too well what lies ahead in the next few months.
I’ve sat with him and his family. I’ve prayed with him and his wife. I was prepared when God laid on my heart to go to him in his last few hours; to pray with him and to know with total certainty that he would be going home to be with Jesus. I prayed for the knowledge to know. I prayed for God’s words to pray over him. I prayed to give words of comfort and compassion to each family or friend that I crossed paths with that day. Being there, spending time, I knew it was a matter of hours. I knew as much as he fought to stay here, he was preparing himself to leave. I prayed with them one last time that day and I felt a sense of peace in the room. I knew Bill was ready. He was tired. He was ready.
I didn’t get that with my son. I didn’t get those “last moments”. I didn’t get that sense of peace. But I also didn’t get months of torture knowing the end was coming. For that, I am ever so grateful. I got my sense of peace from God. He gave me word that He took him home with Him, to wait for us.
As I spent time last night putting together the Celebration of Life program for this family, a lot of memories came flooding back. I’m thankful that I can read the words I wrote about my son and know that I did right by him. That I honored his farewell exactly as he would’ve wanted it; with his closest friends and family in a lodge setting filled with his favorite things. One of the hardest things I did was to get up in front of 250+ people and talk about my son, his life, and what he meant to me. I am honored and humbled, at the request of Bill’s “bride of 39 years”, to say a few words and pray at his Celebration on Sunday. I pray that God gives me His words to speak. That He will allow me to speak His words to that “one” person that needs to hear them. That, even if I fumble, I will Honor His Word and I will honor Bill’s memory.
It’s hard to know how to help people during grief. Sometimes, often, it’s just letting them know you’re thinking of them, praying for them, and they’re not being forgotten when their loved one is no longer here. Some days are filled with loneliness. Some days are filled with joyful memories. Some days you want to stay in bed. Some days you want to keep busy. Every day you remember.
