As in…Good grief, Charlie Brown!
I’ll
admit, I’ve found it difficult to write the past few weeks. Not because I don’t
have things to say, but because the things on my mind aren’t necessarily
“grief” things; however, they are part of my journey and this is my platform…so
I’m going to share this part of my journey too!
Back
when I was young, in the 60’s and 70’s, you went to school, graduated, got
married, raised a family, and lived happily-ever-after. Happily-ever-after has
evolved over the past few decades. There seems to be more emphasis on career
and then family, which isn’t all bad. I grew up, graduated, got married, raised
two awesome boys, got divorced, sold our family home, began a career, had
another awesome boy, started a different career, AND lost both of my parents, my youngest son’s father, my oldest
son, my oldest brother, and other close friends/family. Grief takes a toll on
us; it causes stress, depression, anxiety, physical health issues, blah, blah,
blah. Sometimes, it’s hard to muddle through snowed-in days, blown down fences,
or empty nests. Life isn’t all ice cream sundaes and Disneyland trips.
After
nearly 19 years of life after divorce and nearly 17 years of being a renter, I
decided to take a step back in to homeownership. I’m not exactly sure why I
decided this was the time, but I think it was a combination of things…rent
isn’t getting any cheaper and neither are home prices, my youngest son has
desired a dog since he was a toddler, I love to garden and take great pride in
my home…are just a few things that come to mind. A while back, Bryan said to
me, “mom, you love to garden and fix-up around your house, why don’t you just
buy a house and put that your efforts into something for yourself instead of
your landlord?” Well now, that’s a good question. I guess I thought I would
remarry one day, buy a house together, enjoy “our” grandkids, and…yes, live
happily-ever-after! Clearly, I’m quite comfortable being independent and “MY”
life has been more important than finding another husband. I wouldn’t mind
companionship, but I am quite content in “MY” life and what I have made of
it…on my own.
Dillon…and
a dog. Now, that’s another subject. Like I mentioned, he has wanted one for
quite some time. I love dogs; however, I really haven’t wanted to be bothered
by “everything” that comes along with having a pet…been there, done that. Plus,
I’ve been a renter and having a pet while renting is an added “complication”
that…I didn’t want to bother with. And, then, hey I started a new career; one
that takes me traveling a few times a year. With that, comes additional pet
expense and more “I didn’t want to be bothered with.” You get the idea. Over
the past few years, I have come to realize how important a pet is to Dillon and
the benefits it could provide for him. Not only have I been grieving, so has
he. He doesn’t complain about it and he hasn’t dwelled over his losses. All he
has done is request a dog and present me “his case” for why. It wasn’t an easy
road for him (trying to “convince” me) and after countless discussions and
compromises, I agreed that a dog would be beneficial to his grief journey as
well as provide him with a responsibility that only a pet can offer. So, began
the thoughts of home and pet ownership.
I knew
two things; I did not want to be “house poor” and I wanted something fitting
for my 2-person and 1 pet family that would likely be a starter family home for
Dillon one day. I concluded that a manufactured home was the right option. I
looked at new ones and I looked at multiple used ones. I checked out numerous
manufactured home communities; boy is their rent pricing all over the map. My
favorite was the $840 “lifestyle fee” to live there! Really, I don’t need $850
worth of “lifestyle”, but thank you! Geez Louise! Regardless, I began my
“serious” search last May. By process and elimination, pros and cons; I found
what seemed to be the perfect one for me and it is very close to my current
location, which I really like. Everything started falling into place. I looked
at the home three times and then decided I would fill out the papers to get
“pre-approved.”
Let me insert some additional
information: The Manufactured Home Community is unique…
·
For homes in parks you will note
the same “few” realtors on the listings. This is because they are required to
have a special license to sell a MH within a park; because they are still
considered “mobile”…like an auto or RV.
·
There was no point in “getting my
own realtor” because there were few to chose from, so I did most of my
house-hunting on my own.
Ok,
pre-approval submittal: That was on a Friday and on Monday, bam – preapproval I
had! I then went into the offer stage. After a week, an agreement was reached. Another side note: let me say when I bought
my one and only home before…I was married, I was young, we assumed a loan, and
my brother was the realtor. The process was easy, peasy and I don’t really
remember much about it. We filled out some papers and a few weeks later, we
moved in. Ok, back to the offer; an agreement was reached and then I was
told it was time to “fill-out” the “full” loan papers (as if the pre-approval
ones were the short version). Ok, no problem, what could go wrong? I filled out
their papers and submitted them with all the documents they requested.
Bam…approved! I’m excited….right up to the point where they tell me they need
more information. What? I found out really quick…”pre-approval” only means that
you are “credit-approved” AND then my “approval” for the loan, was again…only
“credit-approval”. Seriously? Good grief! I’ve learned some a few lessons in
this process.
·
The rules for self-employed are
much different than for the employed.
·
Realtors and Lenders should not
use terms like “gross income” when that is NOT the case for the self-employed.
The minute the realtor hears the buyer is self-employed they should use the
term “adjusted gross income, from Schedule C” and no exceptions. (Per new
standards a few years ago.)
My
friends, that makes a HUGE difference. Self-employed people have many right-offs
to offset taxes. Don’t tell me “gross income” when you really mean “adjusted
gross income”. The first lender wanted me to pay off my car (“retire some debt”,
they call it) and have additional cash for the down payment…to the tune of
$33,000 on a selling price of less than $100,000. Seriously, are you on crack? By
this time, one month has passed since my first “pre-approval”.
At that
point, I took matters into my own hands and began to search for a different
lender. Another side note: manufactured
homes in parks are not typical “home” loans and once again, a few elite lenders
seem to be available. Good grief! I made several phone calls and although
many institutions do offer MH loans, most are only if they are on their own
property…not in a park community. You might be asking, why not just buy new and
put on property? Because I don’t want to be house poor. It is a conventional
loan that would require more down payment AND let’s remember they are not using
my GROSS income, but the ADJUSTED GROSS income.
After calling
a few places and realizing they don’t do MH loans in parks, one would think I
might be discouraged. I was disappointed the first lender didn’t even come back
with: “you need to retire “x” amount of debt or we can only lend “x” amount”,
but that didn’t happen. It was retire “x” amount of debt or nothing, no further
communication from them once I told them I wasn’t willing to do that.
Here I sit,
December 31st, wondering what to do next. I can’t seem to find a
lender and that just seems crazy. Why would God line things up so perfectly for
the door to be shut at the loan process. I just knew he wouldn’t “toy” with us
that way. The only explanation; it wasn’t the right lender. After a few phone
calls, I remembered continually hearing an advertisement on the Christian radio
last summer; but couldn’t remember the name. A few minutes later, it came to me
and I looked them up on the internet. Thank you, Jesus, for supplying that name
in my mind! After a short online “chat” session, I had someone call me. My
first question: “Do you do MH loans?” His answer, to my dismay, was, “no.” We
hung up. I was sure God was leading me here. At this point, I needed a break
from this, so I got up and walked away. About an hour later, my phone rang, and
it was “Matt” whom told me “no” a short while ago. He apologized and said he
was wrong, and he found out that they do work on MH loans. Hallelujah! (insert
musical notes!) I proceeded to share where I was in the process and everything
that had happened. I was sure I needed to find someone that would use my “gross”
wages because otherwise the figures were showing too high of income to debt
ratio. We talked for well over a half an hour, when he asked if I wanted to
proceed. I told him I would need to talk to a loan officer before I was willing
to have them “run my credit”, since I had already seen declining points from
the previous inquiries. He assured me, a loan processor would call Wednesday or
Thursday as they were gone for the holiday at this time. Perfect! Wednesday
afternoon, as promised, Robert called. We talked for nearly an hour and I
agreed to send him my loan package to review before we agreed to proceed. After
his review, January 3rd, I am working with them…although I still
don’t have a “loan commitment letter” and the sellers are getting anxious. Our
original closing date was this coming Monday, January 21st, we are 7
weeks in this process, and we’re still waiting. Praying Tuesday brings the commitment
letter, but hey I might just be the “Angel of Patience”.
