The Pain is Real

Physical pain can lead to emotional pain and emotional pain can lead to physical pain, but pain is pain and it is real. Some days are worse than others. Oh, how many times I have said those words, “some days are worse than others.” I suffered with severe Fibromyalgia for five years of which four and a half had me completely debilitated; meaning I couldn’t work and sometimes I could do nothing other than sit in my massage recliner. That constant and horrific physical pain led to emotional pain and Depression. I slept a lot of nights in that recliner as well. I still maintain that recliner was probably the best $40 I spent on Craigslist! After I was healed I sold it for 20 to someone else that was suffering with Fibromyalgia. I am one of the faithful ones that never gave up and never quit praying for my complete healing and on February 26, 2010 my prayers were answered and I was not only healed from Fibromyalgia, but also from Depression; as they often go hand in hand. The scripture I read that morning during my daily devotion time, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34. I knew in that moment I was healed. Within two weeks, I was free from the 25+ pills taken daily to manage the Fibro Pain; some “heavy hitters” like Percocet and Methadone. I was freed from my pain and I never looked back, because my family was freed from my pain that day too. My family and many friends took that journey with me and they could see the constant and often excruciating pain I was in. But yet, there were mornings I would wake up and feel absolutely great and could go about my life as if I were free from pain. I would often wake the following day and not be able to get out of bed or only make it to my recliner. I am grateful every day that God answered my prayers and freed me and my family from that pain. That pain is real. If you are suffering from a chronic pain illness; stay strong, have faith, and don’t give up. People around you may not see your pain and they likely don’t understand what you are going through because they haven’t went through it themselves and it’s not like a broken bone that is visual pain to others. Don’t give up!

For the past nearly 17 months I have suffered from emotional pain at the loss of my son; my sweet BJ. Daily and excruciating in its own way; some days are better than other days. This emotional pain has led to some physical pain; a backache here or there, headaches, some chest pain that turns out to be nothing…all just triggered by stress; some from grief and other from day to day work and life…the usual stuff. I try to be above all this and continue life in a jolly and productive manner, but when you are sitting and relaxing for the first time in a few days, and you’ve been dealing with a physical issue that has you in so much pain that you just want to cry (but you don’t) and you glance across the room and see a picture of your son…it’s in that moment…your guard is down…and, you just cry...because you want your son back and because you are in pain! You cry; out loud and all you want is to not hurt…physically and emotionally. But, as soon as your youngest son hears the crying and comes downstairs, you pull yourself together and you tell him it’s nothing. But friends, it is something. Its pain and it’s real!!! Missing your loved one is real pain. Pain sucks and grief sucks, but I’m a survivor and I hope those that are grieving are learning their new way of life and will find the good in each new day. Focus on anything and anyone that makes you happy; it helps!

If you want to reach out to me or would like me to pray for you, leave a comment or send me an email. You are not alone; I am on this journey too. God Bless and stay strong!