The Best Seat in the House

Many kids are excited about graduating…Kindergarten, Grade School, Middle School, High School, and even College…Dillon is no different. He is excited about what his future holds. It is true, he has had to overcome much loss the past four years; beginning with his father, just a few days after he started fifth grade and his oldest brother two years later. As we attended a high school graduation the June following his father’s death, Dillon quietly said, “My dad won’t get to see me graduate High School, mom.” I am sure that is something that is always in the back of his mind; the things he thinks his father is missing. I am sympathetic to his feelings and always try to reassure him that his dad (and brother) are always with him and they are both so proud of the young man he is growing to be.

It is heartbreaking for a parent to go through the death of another parent with a child. It is equally challenging to live up to the task of being the “only parent” left to raise this child. I often asked myself if I was up to this task, could I do this by myself, and am I enough for Dillon? On the same day, September 13, 2014, as I told Dillon we had to prepare to let his father go I also told him that even though his dad wouldn’t be here with us anymore that he would be watching and helping me parent from Heaven. It has been hard to live up to those words I told him. Not because his father isn’t watching, but because I must be able to listen to what his father and Our Father are guiding me to do with Dillon. A few weeks after this loss his dad came to me in a dream and said, “You can do this, Peg. You are a great mom. You will take good care of Dillon. Don’t be afraid.” I still don’t know that I am enough for him and it does break my heart to think I am all he has, but those words were such a comfort. I have learned over the last four years that we are not alone, I am not all he has, we have others helping us through each day, and when I can’t be with Dillon I know his dad is.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018...As I prepare to watch my son graduate Middle School this afternoon, I will be humbled to know that we have a village of people that have helped us the past four years: teachers that watch over and nurture his growth at school, special friends that open their home and their heart to us and keep Dillon when I have to travel for work, brothers that love him unconditionally and help guide him, and a stepmom that stands beside me to share as much about his dad that we can. Today, as I sit proudly and watch my young man end his childhood chapter and ready to begin his adolescent chapter I know his dad and brother will have the best seat in the House, next to Our Father.

Today, as I reflect on this past week and reread my words written here, I shed many tears. They began to flow last Sunday and continued until Wednesday. I didn’t really understand why I was so emotional; I mean, I have already watched my two older sons graduate high school let alone middle school. As I drove away from the school that afternoon I felt a calmness and release over me and realized that I had been concerned how that day would be for Dillon. He handled that day amazingly; from the time he led his classmates into the chapel until they were dismissed as high schoolers. As I sat in the chapel, surrounded by our school family, I knew I was not alone that day. I was surrounded by like parents, many of whom we have known since Dillon began school at City Christian in the first grade. I heard from several teachers how they had watched Dillon transform and grow in his spiritual walk this year. Dillon was honored to receive the Christian Character Award of “Humility” and knowing that he is as humbled as I am in our walk, in our relationships, and in our growth is a great character trait to have at fourteen years old. As we were walking out of the chapel, one of his teachers shared her view of Dillon and I the past couple of years…she first recognized the challenges of loss we have been through, followed by, “You two have not only come through this; you have exceled and made good of the situation.“ She is right, we have exceled and we are humble enough to know it is by God’s grace.

For those of you that are now “the only parent”, don’t let the task daunt you and remember that their absent parent isn’t absent at all. They are with your child and watching over them when you can’t be. God Bless our graduates and the “only parents”.