All Lives Matter

Rarely, if ever, do I post my opinions or share personal matters, but today is a day that I find it truly important to share. Today I learned of another life lost far too soon and frankly, I've had enough. Enough of the calls, texts and messages of another peer, friend, or family member taking their own life.

Since high school I have battled anxiety and depression off and on. While the signs and symptoms are there, those around me can rarely tell. Most people find it hard to believe because I am "always so happy and bubbly", but many days I find myself using every fiber of my being to avoid a panic attack or full-blown meltdown.

I share this because I have seen many sides of mental illness. I have experienced the struggle, I have seen others fight the battle and I have seen far too many lose the fight. I am sharing today because I want those of you who are making it through each day with a constant inner struggle to know a few things. Know that you are loved. Know that you are strong. Know that you are never alone. And please know you are needed. Reaching out and asking for help is one of the toughest things to do, but I promise that you will find your loved ones are there, willing and able to love and support you.

Please, always remember how much you matter and how much you are needed in this world. ❤

As I read this Facebook post earlier this week, my eyes couldn’t help but tear up. Far too many people have this struggle and far too many people “hide it”. I applaud Allison for her vulnerability and courage to wear her heart on her sleeve and write such a strong, beautiful, and inspirational message in the hopes of reaching just one single person that might need to read her words in that last single moment that might have been the end of their road.

I believe many of us have inner struggles, but it is far beyond my comprehension that someone is far enough down the road feeling the only way out of their struggle is to take their own life. I cannot even begin to know how their survivors feel and what they go through with such a loss. I am sure they go through, “Why didn’t we see the signs? Why didn’t we know it was this bad? What could we have done?” Yes, the “I blame myself” game. That…on top of losing their loved one would be nearly unbearable. Not knowing why or how they could have changed the outcome. Friends, I am only speculating these feelings because I have not lost a loved one to suicide; (I humbly say) I have only lost someone. I have lost a child. A grown child. A child that I had 35 years / 5 months / 4 days with; gone way too soon and yet, lived longer than many others.

Close your eyes and imagine your “happy place”. It is likely filled with “your peeps” and even likely doing something fun; something that determines it to be your “happy place”. My “happy place” is with my family in no place in particular…just together. Now, close your eyes and imagine that same “happy place” without one of your children, grandchildren, siblings, or your spouse there. You likely can’t see that picture in your mind, because your loved one is still here with you. For me, losing my child has been like standing in the middle of a road and being hit, at 60 MPH, by a semi-truck…and…you survive! That might be unimaginable to most, but that is pretty much how it felt to lose my child, my first-born, the little boy that grew into a man, the man that left earth far too young. That might also be how some feel every single day with their inner struggle; while we see “happy and bubbly”. It might be taking every fiber of their being to avoid a panic attack or full-blown meltdown.

If you have lost someone and especially if you have lost someone to suicide, share Allison’s message in the hopes that we can reach someone that might need to read the words, ‘Please, always remember how much you matter and how much you are needed in this world.”

Facebook message used with permission and encouragement.