Texts,
emails, photos, videos, handmade gifts…these are the things we cherish the
most; especially after the loss of a loved one. I know, you might be thinking…texts?
Emails? You will “get it” after you lose someone. Even the silliest of texts
can bring a smile to your face or a written “love you too mom” will bring tears
to your eyes. Of course it also makes you miss them more too! I can’t be more
thankful to have the “Fresh Prince” video of BJ. The sound quality stinks, but
he is dancing, there is a smile on his face, he is interacting with his nephew,
and he is in typical BJ form. I see it and I ache with pain because I miss him
so much and in the same moment I am filled with happiness to see him moving,
smiling, and full of life; that is how I chose to remember my son.
 |
| 1998 (ish) |
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| 2014 |
I
don’t typically EVER decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving and the past
few years it has been a challenge to decorate at all. But, I have this sweet
young man, a teenager, that lost his dad three years ago and his oldest brother a year
ago…well, he has asked me not once, but twice if we can decorate for Christmas
this weekend…before Thanksgiving. I tried to explain to him when I usually
decorate, but who am I to deny my child? So, this year the turkey will share
his day with the HO-HO-HO.
The
sky is blue, the ground is wet, and the sun is out. It seems a good day to do
some outdoor decorating, so we will begin Operation Christmas Decorating with
BJ’s Forever Tree. When I say "we", I really mean "me" because he's still sick and not much energy. :) I wonder if we will get snow tomorrow. We had a dusting of
snow the day after we got and decorated his tree yesterday, so I say, “Bring on
the snow!” Nothing makes me feel closer
to my son during the winter than the snow, the beauty of the snow, and knowing
his love for the “white stuff”. One more thing that makes me smile all while
missing him terribly!
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