Forget-YOU-Not

My week was going great. I had just come back from a conference in Bend, Oregon. I had talked to BJ a couple of times while I was there and again on Monday. He was happy, it was his five day stretch with Cheyenne, they had spent the weekend doing Halloween things…the Pumpkin Patch, Pumpkin Carving, and he ordered her the Queen of Hearts costume! It was a Friday, I was working, and I was happy! Until…

...the day that changed me forever. It is Friday, October 21st and I am off to take Dillon to school. Around 8:00 a.m. I got a Facebook (FB) message from an acquaintance…"Peggy my dear".  Ok, that's weird.  When I got home I logged in on the computer and responded…"what's up lady?"  I didn't hear anything back and figured she was busy and really didn't think any more about it. I had lots of work to do today.  About 10:15 a.m. I got another FB message, this time from a close family friend. I will leave out the colorful language, but basically said, "ma, I'm so effing sorry. I love that man so much. I will be there as soon as I can."  I started thinking people were losing their minds. I responded with, "what are  you talking about?" Silence, no response. Ok, now I have shivers running through me and I know something is not right. I texted Bryan; Have you heard anything about BJ?  My phone rang. It was that dreaded phone call; the one a parent NEVER wants to receive and one that should never have to come from another son.  On the other end of the phone he said, " BJ was in a fatal car accident last night and he's no longer with us". Oh my God, I am in immediate disbelief. I couldn't even begin to tell you what was happening. I then heard, "mom, I am on my way to your house. I should be there in about ten minutes. I'll be there soon mom."  I can't catch my breath. Things are flashing through my head. I started screaming…No, you can't have him yet! I didn't have time to save him! No, don't take my baby!  He was only 35 years old, he was not supposed to die yet.

Bryan is so strong, so much strength in that man. He immediately took care of things. He comforted me until friends came; then he had to go and be with his dad and then tell his kids. He sat here and put together a statement to put on FB; so thoughtful, so loving. I called a friend and a sister. My sister said she would call all the family so I didn't have to.  I don't know that I could've that day. We started getting many calls and messages. The world was not the same. My son was gone and our world was changed forever…in an instant...on that Friday, October 21, 2017. I am changed forever.