Keep Calm and Carry On

Do you ever have those times when your day is going perfectly fine? You think to yourself, I am doing it…I am getting  through this…the rocky part. And, then BAM, it hits you in the face! Like a fly hitting the windshield! Grief is the most unpredictable course of life.  Most people think you grieve for a while and then life gets back to normal, but friends…if you are in grief, it is your new normal. It's not a phase, it's not an illness…it is the NEW you. Sometimes you feel like your old self and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you feel numb, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you want to be around people, sometimes you NEED to be around people, and sometimes you want to be alone.  As time passes, the old you may surface more often than before, but just as you get used to YOU being back…grief roars its ugly self again…without warning…and it S-U-C-K-S!

Not only do I want to be surrounded by BJ…pictures of him, mementos of him, his jacket, his shirt, his smile…I need to. For the most part, I am at a place where I can be. But, in a blink of an eye, his aura has captured my brain and I have a big, bold image of his smiling face that has consumed my head, almost as if he is right here and that's the moment…the moment I lose it…the outburst has arrived and all I can do is surrender to it. I stop whatever I am doing, I grab the nearest tissue, and I just let the tears, the screams, the anger…all of it, I release it. I have to and if you are in this place you need to too! It's not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of intelligence, a sign of healthiness, a sign that you are getting acquainted with the NEW you.  Embrace YOU and know that for whatever reason or whomever you are mourning, this is why you are  now changed. That person or that trauma was profoundly a part of your life and without them or without it, you are a NEW you.

There are many reasons we grieve, so when I say it or them, I am referring to ANY reason you might be grieving.  I could never just assume that the reader of this blog is on this page because they knew my son or they lost a human. We grieve the loss of a marriage, the loss of a job, the loss of friends when we relocate, and yes, the loss of a loved one. So, no matter why you are grieving there is a NEW you to become acquainted with. Cherish your memories, they are part of who you were and who you have become. Embrace you, accept the outbursts, keep calm and carry on!