In His Corner

A little corner of our world…that’s what we give the loves that go before us. As parents, we sometimes find ourselves saving every little thing our child makes us or taking pictures of all the cute things they do. I am no different; even when we didn’t have digital cameras and we end up with boxes of photos and boxes of negatives.  My kids are considered “Millennials” and some photos are in photo albums and boxes while others are saved on an external hard drive.  I was sometimes called the “picture queen” because I took SOOOOOO many photos and a hoarder because I was thought to keep every little thing they made me. Well, I did and do take a ton of pictures. I love my family and friends. I didn’t keep nearly EVERYTHING the kids have made me but I did keep a LOT of special things they have made me. And, you know what?  I am glad that I did; especially after losing one of my babies way too soon. I cherish every single item my kids and grandkids make me and give me and I always will.

Today, as I was cleaning out the garage, I began putting away one of my “Evacuation To-Go” stacks.  At that moment I realized BJ had a little corner of my garage. Several months ago I hung his artwork there that had been displayed at his Celebration of Life nearly one year ago. I couldn’t bear to throw it away, even though they are all copies. I have all but one hanging up; Willy saw the artwork and said, “Grandma, can I have the picture of Scooby Doo that Uncle BJ drew? I love it and I love him and I miss him.” I would never deny a child and of course that picture went home with Willy that day. I also noticed I had been storing my shovel in that corner; the shovel he gave me two years ago for my birthday. It was his “camping” shovel but I mentioned I needed one for my gardening and he went to his truck, handed it to me, and said, “Happy Birthday, Mom!” That’s just how he was. As I continued putting things away, I hung his ripped up Carhartt jacket in “his corner” and I hung it off the ball of the tow hitch he gave me the year I bought Rex (the Flex). It has a tow package and he said I needed a tow hitch, so he gave me one. I really didn’t intend for this to be “his corner in my world”, but it is.

We always love things our kids and grandkids make us and we keep them, but when we lose a loved one everything becomes more special…artwork, shovels, guitars, backpacks, ratty old jackets, and pictures…lots of pictures. Dillon has accumulated things that were once his dads and they are special to us too. His dad climbed Mt. Rainier with his brother, James, that Dillon is named after and that also died at a very young age; Dillon now has the backpack they used for that climb. Dillon has his dad’s guitar, his bicycle, and many other things that are sentimental. That’s just what happens when someone dies. We treasure everything about who that person was and what that person meant to us.

If you find yourself hanging on to things and you don’t know why, it’s ok; some day you will know why.  There are no rules to life, there are no rules to death; it is learn as you go. Life can be hard; death is harder, and grief just plain stinks!

Another item from his Celebration of Life I couldn't get rid of; some of the messages from Facebook that filled his page. I printed and displayed to share with those that don't have Facebook. In His Corner.