#PrayForLasVegas

Heavy on everyone’s heart this week is the tragedy in Las Vegas and the many lives that have been lost as a result of the careless and cowardly act of one fellow American. I am not here to be on a soap box about my thoughts of the gunman, but rather to remember the many lives that were changed by him. I am not just talking about the 59 innocent lives that were lost or the more than 500 people that were injured; I am also talking about the thousands of other lives that those people have touched. When someone dies, it leaves a whole in many other lives. My heart goes out to the mothers that lost their child, to the children that lost a parent, to the husbands that lost a wife, and the wives that lost their husband. Tragedy is tragedy and grief is grief…and none of it is easy. I cry for the living that has a long journey of grief ahead of them. I am nearly a year into the loss of my son and it doesn’t get easier, it gets more manageable.  I still cry, I still have a hole in my heart, I’m still reminded of the wonderful part he is in our family, and I’m still saddened and sometimes shocked by his death. There is a part of me that wishes I could hug just one little girl that lost her daddy on Sunday night in Las Vegas or comfort one mother that lost her son that night and tell them they are not alone. Tell them that they are loved and being prayed for. Hold one little boy that is now missing his mommy or reassure one father that lost his daughter and pray with them and tell them they are not alone and they are loved.

Death, tragedy, heartache, grief…words that people don’t like, words that people do not know what to do with, and sometimes find difficult to say out loud. Death is a tragedy for the living left behind; it causes much heartache, and is the beginning of a new journey called grief. If you have lost someone recently and are grieving today…you are not alone and you are loved.

I thought it was a sad time that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side. But I'm learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through. But rather, there is absorption, adjustment, and acceptance. And grief is not something that you complete, but rather you endure. Grief is not a task to finish, and move on. It is an element of yourself, an alteration of your being. A new way of seeing. A new definition of self.