Merry Christmas, Son. It’s not the
same without you here; hearts hurt and tears fall. Today was my first time at
your cross with your daughter. After five wonderful days of having her with our
family, I had to take her home…she was sad to leave us, but happy to see her
mom again; just the way it should be. We took a holiday plant and a balloon
picked out special by Cheyenne to your cross. It was the first time your baby
brother had been to your accident site and I could tell it was harder than he
let on. Your sweet friends had already been there and put up a Christmas tree;
complete with ornaments of plastic toy construction equipment, empty bullet
shells (including a few “silver bullets”), and Christmas balls. We picked up
the windblown ones from the ground and placed them back on the tree. One of
your friends even stopped as they were driving by to give us hugs. It was a
bittersweet visit there and Cheyenne handles it so well and she said she kisses
your picture every time she goes there. As we walked away, it took everything I
had not to burst into tears but I could feel them falling inside of me. We miss
you so much, son and Dillon said it best, and “our family feels broken.” With
you and his dad in Heaven, and Bryan’s kids being separated, it’s just not the
same and in many ways it leaves an eerie feeling in us. We are all grieving in
one way or another.
This was such a joyful week with
your little girl. We made Christmas cookies, had a little Christmas Party with
some of your “west side of the mountain” friends, and sang Christmas Carols
around your Forever Christmas Tree. We spent a night at your brothers so Chey
could see her papa, uncle, and cousins and so we could celebrate Christmas with
her. She had such a great time!!! Willy and Addy came home with us to spend a
night and on our last day together we made Bath and Shower Bombs! We got in
lots of snuggles, giggles, and made more special memories together.
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