No Regrets

Well, we are closing out another year here on Earth. I don’t imagine time means much in Heaven. It’s hard to move into another year when I have lost a loved one in every year for the past four years.  And, on the other hand the excitement of a New Year is refreshing.  We just pray not to lose another this year, but as I get older it seems inevitable.

On the bright side; we all managed to make it through the holidays. As long as I could keep myself from going too deep in thoughts, I could manage to enjoy the time without too many tears or breakdowns. Spending the time with family definitely helps and keeping busy with things to do is a good distraction. It’s still so hard to imagine that BJ is gone. I still feel the warmth of his smile when I see him in my mind and when that smile turns to his one-of-a-kind grin, I grin too. I think of how hard it is for us and yet how peaceful it must be for him. I think about all the ways we miss him; in our thoughts and throughout our days and yet I know he is with us, smiling at us, protecting us, and maybe even up to his usual shenanigans with others! It’s still so hard to imagine I will never have him show up at the door, give me a jingle on the phone, or hear, “love you, mom.” I have always said, “If I die tomorrow, there is no doubt my family will know how much they mean to me and how much I love them.” The one thing I can take away from this tragedy is my son knew how much he was loved and I know how much he loved us; so for that there are no regrets.

This is where I say, “If you have relationships that need repaired or words that need to be said, there is no time like today because tomorrow may not come.” Don’t be someone that will have regrets or leave regrets in the end. The best gift you can give someone is the gift of forgiveness and it’s the least expensive and most rewarding.

For those that have lost a loved one in 2017 or over the holidays, I hope you find peace and comfort during your grieving journey. For those that have not experienced personal grief, please keep supporting those that have. You might be the light they need in a dark moment or the voice they need to hear in a lonely moment.  I pray for a healthy and happy 2018 for each of you. Until next year; from our family to yours…HAPPY NEW YEAR!