It's Been a Long Day Without You My Son….

And, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. How many times I have heard people say this about BJ. Of course they say Friend not Son, but the meaning is the same. How long some days are. Some days have much happening and other days not so much. When I see you again, it will be in the blink of an eye and I feel like everything I now think I want to tell you, you will already know. You are still with us. That is clear. We all feel your presence in one way or another.  The past two weeks have been very bittersweet. Our travels to Colorado to see one of your best friends and his family. Watching Baby John as he looks at your picture I gave him and says Uncle BJ…as if you've never left him. He really didn't spend much time with you, living across the country, but it's like he knows you. I printed a special photo of you, Kyle's favorite photo, and bought a rustic frame with just a touch of green on it and gave it to Kyle. I could tell he was as choked up as he was happy to have that gift. I've listened to stories from Allison about her first time spending time with you. Of all the descriptions people give about you, hers is the most heartwarming to me; I guess because she didn't know you as long as the rest of us. She said, "BJ was sincere"…sincere with his feelings, sincere when he spoke to you, sincere. What a wonderful way to feel about my son.  He made her feel welcome when she came to Oregon and he made sure she knew he was always there for her.

Grandma Peggy and Baby John

As I drove around Colorado Springs, I thought of BJ a lot. I thought, "man he would love it here!"  Well, he would love everything except for the rain. But, I enjoyed the afternoon rain. BJ loved the sun and he loved the snow…not so much the in between stuff! Lying in bed my last night there was tough for me. I replayed in my head how great it was to be there and spend time with this great little family. How nice it was to have Kurt and his family there the last couple of days I was there. How many memories and thoughts we all shared of you as we were sitting around in the garage that night. You are so missed son! And, then, I thought about how I was going to wake up, pack up, and begin my trek back to Oregon. It was bittersweet and I shed many tears that night. I could see and feel how much everyone misses you, how their grief journeys are different than my own, and how much I was already missing MY Colorado family! I feel so much love from your friends son and I am so grateful that I carry that piece of you, through them, with me. They are all another one of God's great blessings to me.

Remember my friends…Not every day is good, but every day has good in it.