That Day

As many of you know, especially if you are regular readers, I have a page called "Around The Bonfire". It is set aside for family and friends of BJ's to share their journey of grief, how his death has impacted them, or to share a light-hearted bonfire story. My thoughts for this page are so others can share, so others can heal, so others can release feelings that they may otherwise keep held deep inside. I like to think of it as friends helping friends. 

That day... 

I will never forget that day...I was at work, sitting in a meeting. A friend of mine called me.  She never calls me. I immediately got on Facebook.  I don't know why; I just had a feeling.  I read a post from BJ's brother.   The worst possible thing I could've read. It was the worst possible thing I could've imagined. BJ was in an accident and he was gone. My brother, he was gone.  Just like that. Gone.  Taken away from us.  I had another memorial to go to that very same day for another one of our family members. Two in one day. How could this be?  I remember thinking this isn't real. I was shaking and trying to figure out how I was going to tell my husband, Rob.  

I was so lucky to know him. We had great times together.  In high school we "dated"! We went as far as holding hands. Watch out people!  We were a couple!  Ok, not really, we figured out pretty quickly that we were better as friends. Best friends.  He always made me laugh and always made me feel like family.  One of my last memories of BJ was our last camping trip together; it was very special.  We had a bonding moment; just the two of us, sitting In the dirt…laughing...and crying together.  The last phone call I had with him, he told me he was finally happy again and that he loved us.  BJ, I wish I could have had one more conversation with you. I wish I could have one of your best bear hugs. You will always have my heart and you'll always be with me.  I love you brother.  Forever and always, Amanda

Clear Lake

Where I imagine that sat in the dirt...laughing...and crying together