When I See Your Face

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As I was sitting outside this morning drinking my cup of coffee before the kids got up, I was thinking of my youngest son Greg's birthday…coming up on September 14th. He will be 10 this year. Excited for his double-digit birthday until my thoughts start to wander and suddenly I'm sad and I'm crying.

You were at his birthday party last year. Little did we know that would be the last time that you would celebrate a birthday with us, it was the last time that we got to see you, the last time that you came to our house, the last time that you and I would be able to have our heart-to-heart talks, and the last time that you would make fun of me for not liking bacon and I would make fun of you for not liking coffee..... still, who doesn't like coffee?! 😂

The last time I would tell you that those energy drinks, that you loved, are so bad for your heart and you shouldn't drink them. You telling me that you knew you weren't ever going to die of old age. Still to this day…it breaks our hearts that you are gone.

As I'm sitting here thinking of all these things this morning I have come to realize that when I am sad I don't see your face. It is in the good memories of our little banters back and forth and the fun memories that we share....that's when I see your face. When I smile thinking of those good memories; that's when I see you smiling and I can hear you laughing. Oh that infectious smile that you have.

So I hold onto those good memories because I know that when I am thinking of them, so are you and you are smiling about them too. You are in a better place and I know that. We just miss you! So, until we meet again.

Lots of love, The St. Helens Hall’s

The last picture BJ took at our house