Embrace Change?

So many changes in life as we weave our way through. I learned a long time ago to embrace change so it lessens the trauma. The only change I haven’t learnt to embrace is death; the loss of a loved one, the loss of my son. How does one embrace such a thing and why would I even want to embrace that!? I get by. I keep my head above water. I focus on the here and now. But, I can’t embrace it.

Throughout life there are many changes. Oh, if only the littles knew life isn’t all Legos and Nerf Guns or Barbie’s and dress up! There are fun changes, exciting changes, work changes, growing changes, life changes, and the one that hits us upside the head, drops us to our knees, and cuts us like a knife…loss of a loved one. I’ve made it through childhood, marriage, babies, teenagers, divorce, another baby, career changes, Fibromyalgia, grandkids, and the death of my parents, my children’s grandparents, my sons father, my dear friend Jack, and my brother; sometimes I wonder if I’ll make it through the loss of my child. Is this…one too many? They are all changes that affect our life. We deal with change often, if not every day, in one way or another and sometimes we even want a change.

This month I am going through another change and I am excited, I am thrilled, I am proud, and I am a wee bit selfishly sad. My son and his family are moving an hour and ten minutes away from me; instead of the lovely six minute drive I have to their house now. No more “dropping by unannounced” (he always loves when mom does that!) or swinging by to leave them a Halloween doormat on the step. I am thrilled he finally found his first house and property to buy and it’s a beautiful location; just too far away from mom. I’ve always had Bryan close by; within 20 minutes or so anyway. I am excited for this change in their life and I couldn’t be more proud of the son and dad that he has become. But, as I’ve said, he is my baby of the older two and I selfishly want him “right down the street!” This is a change I can embrace and I will embrace, because more than I feel selfish - I feel extremely happy for him and his family!

Life has hurdles, life is not always sunshine and lollipops, but if you can learn to embrace the things you cannot change that really is half the battle. So, I will continue to battle the change I cannot embrace and know that we will all be with BJ again one day. Until then, life goes on and we need to make the most of it…that’s the BJ way.